Now, Ain't That Love?

Here's a funny thing - in about 5.5 months, my husband and I will be parents.  I'm currently in the throes of the second trimester, and things so far have gone extraordinarily well.  No nausea, very little pain, no impending sense of doom.  I've been very, very fortunate and I hope that continues.

Of course there's lots to do, places to go and stuff to see, but mostly I just want to chill out and enjoy the next few months with my husband.  To me, this is our time in which we can wander around and plan and dream and do the things we may not have as much time for when our baby arrives.  

We've told most people now - we chose to announce to our friends and some select family by a card, because I'm not big on telling people in person.  It's superstitious of me, but I have a tendency to feel that the more people know, the more chance there is for bad feelings and bad wishes to percolate.  We have been lucky to receive lots of good wishes, excitement and happiness for us from others.  

Announcing this has been a bit bittersweet for me, mostly because of who isn't here to hear our news.  Over the last few months I've missed my brother in a really fundamental way - I can't call him to tell him about hearing the baby's heartbeat, or send him emails to let him know what's up, and I certainly can't just call round and see him.  Even though it's been nearly five years since Brent died, sometimes it's been hard even to see my husband with his sister, because I don't have that kind of relationship with anyone anymore.  My baby will have only great uncles and aunts on my side, which is a challenging thing to try to wrap my head around sometimes.  I'm not interested in creating "honourary" uncles, because it seems extremely disrespectful to Brent, who, along with my brother-in-law, my own uncles and my husband's uncles, are the only people whom my kid should call by that honorific.  

But despite the bittersweet nature of this particular announcement, and despite all of the warnings of upcoming changes, my husband and I are very, very excited to meet our new daughter or son later this year.  We understand that this week it is the size of an onion - a whole onion, just hanging out inside of me - and next week it will be the size of a sweet potato.  We hope and pray that baby will continue to grow and develop into a healthy, well-adjusted tiny person and adult, because really hoping for anything else seems pretty greedy at this point.  We have, and are, all we need.

      

Make it right

Mike Holmes is my hero. He wears overalls without shame and perhaps even with pride. He fixes stuff no one else would touch with a spirit level. I've never really been a DIY show type girl until I found Mike.... I think I mostly like the idea of fixing broken things and making people feel much better. Also, while Mike is not a stylish-designer type, the home invariably looks more professional and more put-together than it did before he started. Holmes on Homes isn't even a guilty pleasure for me - I proudly admit my undying admiration for the man, the myth, and the movement.

I've been asked to contribute a chapter to an upcoming academic book. I don't really want to put what it's about out here because it might be more personally identifiable than I'm comfortable with, however, I mention it because I'm slightly pleased with the progress I've made in this area. I can't say that this Masters degree has been a boon for me, but in hindsight I realize that I've met lots of interesting and brilliant people and gained some pretty arcane knowledge. If I do manage to put something together that is book-worthy, then I will be a published academic. Still can't decide about that PhD, though, which is a bit irritating. I'd like to be able to make my mind up on it but I think I just need this extra year of working to really figure out what direction I want to go in.

To tie all this together, I currently kind of regard myself as a sort of quasi-Mike Holmes... I'm making my own life right, or as right as I can at this very moment in the circumstances I find myself in. This past year has been a little difficult as I took a job I knew wouldn't suit me and have had to live with those consequences. I've got a good lifestyle but little professional satisfaction... and I know that this isn't really working for me. I'm not saying I want to swap - no lifestyle but much professional satisfaction - but I need to find a job I can respect in an organization I can feel an affinity for that is willing to pay me enough to keep me in the style to which I've become accustomed. It'll happen - don't know when or where or how, but if I can use the experiences I've had in the past little while as a springboard, I can hopefully get to where I want to be. That's why I feel a bit like Mike Holmes - right now, I've got some serious issues with the pre-existing framework.... but I think that if I just keep knocking down walls and fixing the wiring and tiling and whatever else I get my hands on, it'll all be okay soon enough.

It's all in the details.